It’s early April, and sadly enough the water is still too cold to surf in swimsuit. With each and every one of us wearing our wetsuits to keep our bodies warm, two opposing camps are silently clashing on the parking lot on a thorny question.
In the blue corner, girls that one could easily label as beginners or tourists, struggling to slide into their wetsuit wearing a bikini (not to mention guys with their board shorts). In the red corner, the free boobs team. If you find it odd to be naked under your wetsuit, you might wanna consider that 80% of experienced surfers from both sex are perfectly at ease with going bare-bottomed on the parking lot.
We’ve been conducting our very own little poll and the answer from girl riders is very often the same:
“I don’t wear anything under my wetsuit because it’s too uncomfortable. If I crash while kiting my bottoms immediately turn into a thong! Nearly impossible to put it back then… No tops either since I would feel them should the harness slide up! I’m just more well off naked” Marie Switala, professional kiteboarder.
No matter their discipline of choice, professional riders are unanimous.
Be it surfer Uhaina Joly, windsurfer Alice Arutkin or bodyboarder Lilie Labadie, they all think alike: it’s definitely much more comfy without any swimsuit.
But if comfort is key to many, aesthetics also matters: “Being naked under the wetsuit saves you from not-so-good-looking swimsuit shapes under and itchy discomfort” Coline Menard, pro longboarder.
Stephanie, also a longboarder, couldn’t agree more: “I mainly go naked under my swimsuit for comfort issues. I’ve always surfed without tops under my wetsuit (because I don’t need any!) but I’ve long been feeling that bottoms were both uncomfortable and scratching my skin. So I also got rids of bottoms! And it’s so much better! As for shorties they feel much nicer naked but aesthetics also matters. A shorty’s Neoprene is thinner and shows your bikini bottoms’ shape, not so good huh? Same goes for the indented looks.
But is it also a morphology issue? Is it comfy to go free boobs for those of us who have been more blessed by Mother Nature?
Alice explains that she “does wear tops under her wetsuit. I find the friction painful (poor nipples) but having bigger breasts I also don’t feel that much at ease without any sort of support.”
Men don’t have that anatomy issue and are often much more at ease with stripping off naked on the parking lot. We all know men are generally way less shy****, to the extent that Paul Duvignau even admitted: “I go naked, period. No need for a wetsuit, you just feel free this way and nothing is bothering you!” We’re already feeling (cold) for you, Paul!
Alright, we get it, swimsuit under the wetsuit is a no-no! It’s itchy and scratchy, and it bunches in unwanted places. So how do we not end up naked, all eyes on us, when getting dressed?
– Poncho! The easy, perfect solution to hide all these body parts you don’t really wanna show to your mates. Slide your head in easily, your arms are free and it goes down to your knees. It’s also warm, but above all you can get changed without allowing the slightest glance on your buttocks. It looks like this.
– If you don’t feel like investing in a poncho, you can always go for a towel around your waist. Slightly cumbersome but fairly efficient. Tie it hard, slip your bottoms down and jump in your wetsuit. Well, at least for the most trained of us! If you’re struggling, keep one hand on the towel. Better safe than sorry! About the tops, I’m afraid you’re gonna have to use some contortionist skills and do it all under your t-shirt. If your wetsuit is front zipped, get your arms out of the t-shirt, pull the wetsuit as high as possible over your bra without putting your arms in the sleeves, take your t-shirt off, then your bra. Your wetsuit should be tight enough to act as a strapless top, get the sleeves on and it’s done. Good luck and watch out for the wind!
– The t-shirt technique. That’s for those of us who don’t care about showing off some tiny ass bits. A longer t-shirt can do the trick as you’re sliding your legs into the wetsuit without showing too much skin (seating on the edge of the car trunk is then even a bit safer!)
– The car technique. Only suits the most flexible of us! I don’t believe any further explanation is required.
– The “no technique” technique. One could possibly argue that trying to hide something is only catching everyone’s attention on it. Well… That’s one way to look at it, but the author cannot be held responsible in the event of weird staring or families with kids passing by… Wrong place, wrong time!
The safest, most efficient way is clearly to go for a poncho, you’ll find some anywhere and frankly, saving 30 extra min in the water instead of 30 min mumbling about how Leo really didn’t have to see your boobs today seem like a pretty good deal to me!
Cet article est également disponible en : French